Shyness and introversion (By: Laurentina Watkins)

 
I grew up as a very, painfully shy child. I never had the nerve to speak up for myself. But the strange fact is I would speak up for someone else being mistreated or teased but never had the courage to do the same for my self.
I am the second oldest of my mother’s children and the oldest girl. This position in itself you would think would have given me all i needed to be an extrovert. But did not .
My mother tried her best to get me out of my self, first enrolling me in Brownie Scouts ( yes they existed even back then) buying a piano and sending me for lessons , to which my end results are ” I can’t play dead”.
But when I look back at my reaction to how people treated me when they realized that I was shy, it really amaze me.
Every two weeks my mother would send me to have my hair done at a local hair stylist (then beauty shop) I went to the same lady each time. I begin to realize each week the water would get hotter and hotter ( now I am a fan of hot water) until it got so hot that I finally had to tell her it was too hot, now her hands were in the same water so I realize that she was feeling the heat but was seeing how long it would take me to say uncle because I would not talk.

black child
As a young person I have experienced this on many levels but mostly from my own people.
Because I have always carried myself in a way that showed I had respect for who and what I was, most people outside of my community thought and still do that I am an educator. Most of the people I met in the business world after I turn 21 gave me respect because I gave it to them first.
I think it was in my latter thirties before I really came out of the “I am an introvert” closet but when I did I did it with force.
I now let people know that you can not talk to me or treat me any other way then that which I treat you, I expect respect because I always bring respect. I don’t rise my voice if this is not the case, I simply state facts.
The funniest thing to me is that people who know me now find it impossible to believe that I was ever shy. When I first met people I may sit back and observe, feel them out to see if this is someone I want to include in my life. After 2 or 3 conversation I can tell if it is a go or no unless this person has the best acting skills I have ever seen and in that case when the truth person come out you either drop them like a hot potato or ease out of the relationship. My children, family, friends, acquaintances, church members, know that I will stand up and speak up for what I believe in. I treat people as I expect to be treated. I may be stern at times, goofy, a bit louder than  necessary ( I can’t whisper), forget to do something, stubborn, cranky (I try to keep my crazy at my house) or as my daughter in law says “do everything as if it’s my last day (and it very well could be).
At this point, my life is great, my God is greater. I don’t have a large house, a luxury car, a doctorate degree but I am happy. I have a family whom I love and love me, grand children whom are the loves of my life, a husband who I love and who lets me live my life to the fullest, friends who I share good times with, a church I am at peace in, a pastor I adore (he is like my 4th son) and just all around “I am blessed.
I started this on one subject and ended on another to make the point that it does not matter how you start out in life if you make a conscious effort you can change this to be the person you wish to be. Strive for the best you possible. I came out of the closet (introvert closet) and came out with a vengeance. Just saying!

Written by: Laurentina Watkins

Published with: Inner Faith Wealth Builders !Evangelism

Copyright © 2015
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